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Vichekesho vya kukuondoa mawazo leo

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Soma vichekesho hivi;

Mwizi wa atm

Jamaa aliibiwa kadi yake ya benk akaulizwa kama ameripoti polisi akajibu "sijaripoti bado, mwizi mwenyewe hamfikii matumizi kama mke wangu.

Cheka kidogo

Njia rahisi kusahau matatizo yako (japo kwa muda mfupi) vaa viatu vinavyokubana.

Mlizi mbio mbio

Tulikuwa bar moja jana mlinzi kaingia spidi, akamwambia jamaa mmoja aliyekaa kaunta, Mlinzi: Mzee gari lako limeibiwa Mzee: Umemtambua aliyeiba? Mlinzi: Hapana lakini nimeandika namba za gari hizi hapa.

13, 13…

Jamaa alikuwa anapita nje ya wodi ya vichaa akasikia mtu anasema, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13, 13,….. akaamua kuchungulia kwenye kitundu alichokiona ajue kuna nini, ile kuchungulia tu akamwagiwa mchanga wa machoni, sauti ikabadili ikaanza 14,14,14,14,14……

WATAALAM

Jamaa alikuwa anaumwa sana, mkewe akamwita daktari, alipofika akamkuta jamaa kafumba macho;
Dokta: Huyu mbona amekwisha kufa?
Jamaa: Sijafa bwana
Mke: Hebu nyamaza bwana acha kubishana na wataalamu.

Ya leo mgonjwa

Dokta alipotembelea wodi ya mgonjwa wake aliyepata ajali. Mgonjwa akiwa amening'inizwa mikono juu akauliza "dokta ntaweza kweli kupiga kinanda nkitoka hospitali?"
Dokta: Bila shaka utaweza, wewe ni mpiga kinanda mzuri enh?
Mgonjwa: Hapana sijawahi kabisa bado.

4WD

Mwanaume alimnunulia pete ya almasi mkewe, rafiki akauliza "si ulisema anapenda gari yenye four wheel drive, mbona umenunua pete?" Mume akajibu "unadhani wapi ntapata rav4 feki?"

Ajali ilivyotokea

Trafiki polisi akihoji palipotokea ajali "ahaa! Sasa naanza elewa embu nielezee jinsi ajali ilivyotokea wewe ukiwa kama dereva mhusika." Dereva akajibu "hata sikumbuki nlifumba macho"

Faini ya kukojoa

Polisi alimdaka jamaa anakojoa pembezoni mwa ukuta.
Polisi: Wewe unajua panakatazwa kukojoa hapa?
Jamaa: Sasa nimebanwa nifanyaje?
Polisi: Faini yake elfu tano.
Jamaa akatoa noti ya elfu 10.
Polisi: Sasa chenji tunaipataje?
Jamaa: Tafuta chenji unipe changu.
Polisi: Basi kojoa tena…

Mume anaenda kazini

Jamaa kaamka asubuhi sana Jumamosi, mvua inanyesha kang'ang'ania kuwa anaenda ofisini. Kawasha gari yake, kufika njiani hali ilikuwa mbaya kaamua kurudi. Kafika home kavua nguo kaingia tena kitandani, kamnong'oneza mkewe aliyekuwa usingizini; "Yaani hali ya hewa huko nje mbaya sana" Mke: Si ndio nimemshangaa huyu mpumbavu eti kaenda kazini…

Hasira za mtoto

Baba na mtoto:
Baba: Mwanangu ukiwa na hasira unafanya nini?
Mtoto: Naenda chooni.
Baba: Chooni? Kufanya nini?
Mtoto: Kusafisha.
Baba: Halafu ndio hasira zinaisha?
Mtoto: Ndio. Nasafisha choo kwa mswaki wako.

Mgonjwa na Dokta

Mgonjwa: Dokta nimekuja nahisi ninaumwa Malaria na kifua.
Dokta: Sasa ushajua unaumwa nini hapa umefuata nini kwangu?
Mgonjwa: Sasa si nimekuja kwa dokta.
Dokta: Wanaojua kuwa wanaumwa kama wewe wanapitiliza maabara.

Pilau la bachela

Bachela mmoja aliyekua akiishi kwa muda mrefu peke yake kwenye nyumba aliyopanga siku moja alitaka kupika pilau kwa mara ya kwanza. Sasa asijue nini kinachobadilisha rangi ya wali kuwa rangi ya brown, yeye akapika kama kawaida (wali) kisha wakati wa kula akavaa miwani yenye rangi ambayo ukiuangalia wali unauona kama pilau wakati anakula.

Mwizi na chizi

Mwizi kaiba TV na kuanza kukimbia nayo, kumbe ile nyumba mlikuwa na chizi, akaanza kumkimbiza yule mwizi. Kila mwizi akiongeza mbio chizi nae huyo, mwishowe mwizi akasalimu amri na kusimama, yule chizi akamsogelea na kumwambia.. Daah umesahau remote hii hapa mwizi kafleti.

Chemsha bongo

Baba akimuuliza chemsha bongo mwanae anayesoma shule ya chekechea "haya niambie kitu gani hakiwezi kuliwa wakati wa breakfast?" Mtoto akajibu "hiyo mbona rahisi baba, si lunch na dinner"

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Comments

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Abdillah (Guest) on March 15, 2021

πŸ˜„ Sikutarajia hiyo ikitokea!

Paul Ndomba (Guest) on February 25, 2021

Kweli mna ucheshi wa kipekee sana! πŸ˜„πŸ˜‚

Janet Mbithe (Guest) on February 23, 2021

πŸ˜… Bado nacheka!

Charles Mchome (Guest) on February 12, 2021

Kila siku napenda jokes zenu! πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚

Andrew Mahiga (Guest) on February 1, 2021

Umetisha! πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜‚

John Malisa (Guest) on January 26, 2021

Mna talent ya jokes! πŸ‘πŸ˜‚

Elizabeth Malima (Guest) on January 23, 2021

Hii imenipa furaha ya siku! πŸ˜†πŸ‘Œ

Elizabeth Mtei (Guest) on January 7, 2021

πŸ˜† Hiyo punchline!

Stephen Kangethe (Guest) on January 1, 2021

Nimefurahia sana hii joke! πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚

Anna Kibwana (Guest) on December 26, 2020

πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚πŸ‘

Zakia (Guest) on December 4, 2020

🀣 Hii imewaka moto!

James Kawawa (Guest) on November 15, 2020

🀣 Hii imenigonga vizuri!

Elijah Mutua (Guest) on November 10, 2020

πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚πŸ˜Š

Lydia Mahiga (Guest) on November 10, 2020

Hii imenikuna! πŸ˜†πŸ˜Š

Anna Kibwana (Guest) on October 25, 2020

Huu ucheshi hauna kifani! 🀣πŸ”₯

Nicholas Wanjohi (Guest) on September 28, 2020

Nimecheka hadi nimesahau shida zangu! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

Fikiri (Guest) on September 27, 2020

πŸ˜† Bado nacheka, siwezi kuacha!

Vincent Mwangangi (Guest) on September 14, 2020

Nimecheka hadi machozi 🀣😭

Josephine Nekesa (Guest) on September 7, 2020

Hii ni ya kufurahisha sana! πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜„

Janet Mwikali (Guest) on July 10, 2020

πŸ‘πŸ€£πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚

Janet Wambura (Guest) on July 10, 2020

Hii imenifurahisha hadi nacheka kwa sauti! πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

Mercy Atieno (Guest) on May 29, 2020

Ucheshi wenu ni wa hali ya juu sana! πŸ‘πŸ˜‚

Elijah Mutua (Guest) on April 28, 2020

Kweli mna kipaji cha ucheshi! πŸ‘πŸ€£

Jackson Makori (Guest) on April 6, 2020

Hii imenipa furaha ya siku! πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚

Paul Ndomba (Guest) on March 22, 2020

Hii imenifurahisha sana! 🀣😊

Mary Sokoine (Guest) on February 25, 2020

Kweli mna ucheshi wa hali ya juu sana! πŸ‘πŸ˜†

Benjamin Masanja (Guest) on February 12, 2020

🀣 Sikutarajia hiyo!

Esther Cheruiyot (Guest) on February 2, 2020

Nimecheka hadi machozi yanatoka! 🀣😭

Wande (Guest) on January 28, 2020

πŸ˜‚ Kali sana!

Christopher Oloo (Guest) on January 8, 2020

πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜…

Janet Sumaye (Guest) on December 23, 2019

😁 Hii imenifanya siku yangu iwe bora!

George Tenga (Guest) on December 17, 2019

Hii imenibamba sana! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

Patrick Kidata (Guest) on December 15, 2019

Nimecheka hadi machozi yanatoka! 🀣😭

George Wanjala (Guest) on December 13, 2019

Hii ni joke ya kipekee sana! πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘

Mary Njeri (Guest) on December 6, 2019

Kweli mna ucheshi! πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

Nicholas Wanjohi (Guest) on November 28, 2019

🀣 Hiyo twist mwishoni, ingawa!

Chris Okello (Guest) on November 9, 2019

πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

Emily Chepngeno (Guest) on October 5, 2019

🀣 Ninaituma sasa hivi!

Kahina (Guest) on September 25, 2019

Hii ndio nilihitaji leo! Asante! 😜

Paul Ndomba (Guest) on September 20, 2019

Hii imeniboresha wakati wangu wa mapumziko! β˜•πŸ˜†

Faith Kariuki (Guest) on September 10, 2019

😁 Hii ni hazina ya kichekesho!

Samson Mahiga (Guest) on August 17, 2019

πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ‘

Alice Jebet (Guest) on July 31, 2019

πŸ€£πŸ‘πŸ‘Œ

Salum (Guest) on July 19, 2019

Hii ni kali kabisa! Siwezi kushiba! πŸ˜‚

David Sokoine (Guest) on July 10, 2019

Nimecheka hadi nina furaha sana! 🀣😊

Fredrick Mutiso (Guest) on June 27, 2019

🀣 Hiyo punchline ilikuwa haikutarajiwa!

Ann Wambui (Guest) on June 11, 2019

Hii imenifurahisha hadi nacheka kwa sauti! πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

Selemani (Guest) on May 23, 2019

πŸ˜‚ Nimeipenda kabisa hii!

Abubakari (Guest) on May 15, 2019

🀣 Nalia kwa kicheko kweli!

Sarafina (Guest) on May 12, 2019

Brilliant! Muda wake ulikuwa kamili! ⏰

David Nyerere (Guest) on May 10, 2019

πŸ˜…πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‚πŸ‘

Lucy Wangui (Guest) on May 3, 2019

Hii imenikuna sana! πŸ˜†πŸ˜…

Moses Kipkemboi (Guest) on April 20, 2019

😊🀣πŸ”₯

Benjamin Kibicho (Guest) on April 20, 2019

Kweli mna ucheshi wa kipekee! πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

Mary Sokoine (Guest) on April 2, 2019

πŸ˜‚ Nacheka hadi nalia!

John Mwangi (Guest) on March 26, 2019

Hizi jokes ni za ukweli! πŸ˜†πŸ‘

Patrick Mutua (Guest) on March 20, 2019

πŸ˜† Siwezi kuacha kucheka!

Dorothy Mwakalindile (Guest) on March 15, 2019

Nimeipenda hii joke! πŸ˜„πŸ˜‚

Sofia (Guest) on January 28, 2019

Hii kichekesho inastahili tuzo! πŸ†

Stephen Amollo (Guest) on December 30, 2018

Ucheshi wenu ni wa hali ya juu! πŸ‘πŸ€£

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