What did one eye say to the other?

Jamal (Guest) on January 6, 2021

I’m on a roll today. I ate 12 rolls. 🍞😂

Hawa (Guest) on December 19, 2020

I could give up chocolate, but I’m not a quitter. 🍫💪

Charles Wafula (Guest) on December 15, 2020

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! 🍅👗

Khatib (Guest) on December 12, 2020

What do you call a fish without an eye? Fsh! 🐟👁️

Nora Kidata (Guest) on December 11, 2020

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together! 🐧🏠

Omari (Guest) on December 9, 2020

What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you! 🌋❤️

Benjamin Masanja (Guest) on November 23, 2020

What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs! 💀🍖

Grace Minja (Guest) on November 20, 2020

What do you get when you cross a sheep and a bee? Bah-humbug! 🐑🐝

Shukuru (Guest) on November 16, 2020

If I won the award for laziness, I would send someone to pick it up for me. 🏆😴

Mary Sokoine (Guest) on November 3, 2020

I may be a little quiet, but I have so many thoughts running through my mind that I’m talking to myself non-stop. 🗣️💭

Mariam Kawawa (Guest) on October 27, 2020

Why did the man take his clock to the vet? It had ticks! 🕰️🐾

Isaac Kiptoo (Guest) on October 26, 2020

I used to be a people person, but people ruined that for me. 🙄🧍‍♂️

Mashaka (Guest) on October 25, 2020

I’d rather be someone’s shot of whiskey than everyone’s cup of tea. 🥃☕

Edward Chepkoech (Guest) on October 24, 2020

You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you do for fun. 🎮🤔

Charles Mboje (Guest) on October 22, 2020

I don’t trip, I do random gravity checks. 🌍🤣

Khatib (Guest) on October 14, 2020

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. 🙄👨‍💼

Sarah Mbise (Guest) on October 12, 2020

😂 I can't stop laughing at this one!

Hellen Nduta (Guest) on October 5, 2020

I can’t cook, but I can follow directions—so if I fail, it’s the recipe’s fault. 🍳🤷‍♂️

Shamsa (Guest) on September 22, 2020

I have a degree in sarcasm. 🎓😏

Margaret Mahiga (Guest) on September 19, 2020

Love this! Keep them coming! 😁

Ndoto (Guest) on September 19, 2020

Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said. 😜💬

Sarah Karani (Guest) on September 14, 2020

Life is like a roller coaster. And I'm stuck in the line for the bathroom. 🎢🚻

Hellen Nduta (Guest) on September 9, 2020

😂 I’m seriously crying over here!

Joseph Kiwanga (Guest) on September 3, 2020

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese! 🧀🤣

Aziza (Guest) on August 23, 2020

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer! 🐂💤

Rubea (Guest) on August 21, 2020

I’m not late. I’m just very early for tomorrow. ⏰😂

Mary Kendi (Guest) on August 18, 2020

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose! 🐄🦶

Henry Mollel (Guest) on August 14, 2020

What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Poop! 💩🎤

David Sokoine (Guest) on August 12, 2020

How does a taco say grace? Lettuce pray! 🌮🙏

Mariam Hassan (Guest) on August 11, 2020

What’s brown and sticky? A stick! 🌿😂

Alex Nyamweya (Guest) on August 8, 2020

Why do ducks always pay with cash? Because they don’t like bills! 🦆💵

Andrew Mahiga (Guest) on July 30, 2020

Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies? ✂️🧵

Lydia Wanyama (Guest) on July 24, 2020

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. 🥃🕰️

Ndoto (Guest) on July 23, 2020

I wish I were a little kid so I could take a long nap and everyone would be proud of me. 🍼😴

Kheri (Guest) on July 22, 2020

😂 This is a keeper!

Michael Mboya (Guest) on July 21, 2020

I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, I’m thinking of making a few more. 🙈😜

Mchawi (Guest) on July 20, 2020

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. 👀🧹

Betty Akinyi (Guest) on July 14, 2020

Sarcasm is my love language. 💬😏

Francis Njeru (Guest) on July 4, 2020

If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. 🛌💬

Husna (Guest) on June 27, 2020

Haha! I couldn't stop laughing at this one! 🤣

Zawadi (Guest) on June 24, 2020

Why did the electrician break up with the light bulb? It was too high-maintenance! 💡💔

Nasra (Guest) on June 23, 2020

Why did the frog sit on the computer? To hop on the internet! 🐸💻

Aziza (Guest) on June 7, 2020

What kind of car does an egg drive? A yolkswagen! 🚗🥚

Tambwe (Guest) on June 5, 2020

I’m not overweight. I’m just under-tall. 🏋️‍♂️🤏

Charles Mrope (Guest) on May 26, 2020

I always carry a pen in my pocket, just in case someone gives me their autograph... on a check. ✍️💰

Jabir (Guest) on May 25, 2020

Why don’t bananas ever get lonely? They hang out in bunches! 🍌👯‍♂️

Kiza (Guest) on May 23, 2020

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure. 🤷‍♂️🤔

Daudi (Guest) on May 23, 2020

I'm a multitasker. I can listen, ignore, and forget all at once. 🎧🤔

Ruth Mtangi (Guest) on May 22, 2020

What kind of haircuts do bees get? Buzz cuts! 🐝✂️

Josephine (Guest) on May 20, 2020

I haven’t lost my mind. It’s backed up on a hard drive somewhere. 💾🤯

Francis Njeru (Guest) on May 11, 2020

What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta! 🍝🤡

Mary Sokoine (Guest) on May 7, 2020

It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste. 😜😎

Kiza (Guest) on May 6, 2020

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. 'Alright, get in the basket'. 🚲👮‍♂️

Irene Akoth (Guest) on May 4, 2020

I don’t care if the glass is half full or half empty. I’m just glad it’s not a shot glass. 🥃🍹

Rose Amukowa (Guest) on May 2, 2020

How do cows stay up to date? They read the moos-paper! 🐄📰

Kenneth Murithi (Guest) on April 26, 2020

I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up: a kid again. 👶🤣

Mwagonda (Guest) on April 11, 2020

What’s the tallest building in the world? The library, because it has the most stories! 📚🏢

Margaret Mahiga (Guest) on April 10, 2020

😄 Perfect joke!

Sarah Achieng (Guest) on April 6, 2020

😃 This made me laugh out loud for real!

Asha (Guest) on April 3, 2020

I’m definitely telling this one to my friends! 😄